Lessons Learned

I have taken a short break from blogging the past 2 weeks.  Some of my faithful followers may have noticed (my mother and mother-in-law), and some of you may be saying, “You have a blog?” Either way, I’m back boo, and the last 2 weeks have been filled with lots of ups and downs.  In most cases, I tend to laugh to avoid crying (obnoxious laugh as seen in photo above), but some of the life events that have occurred only brought tears.  I wanted to share with you four things I have learned during my blogging hiatus.  Most of you have already experienced some of these lessons, but there may be a an experience you will never encounter.  So, here goes:

1. How to knock out the home “Honey Do” list:

Apparently, all you have to say is “I think we should put our house up for sale…like next week.” This ensues sheer panic and all of those things we thought were fine living with, become unfit for any human to exist amongst, and things gets done real real quick.  This list includes, but is not limited to: drywall repairs, painting, cleaning carpets, painting some more, getting window replaced, painting again, replacing kitchen cabinet trim, painting that trim, installing dry sink, replacing baseboards in bathroom, painting the baseboards, installing crown molding, lots of caulking, cleaning out garage, multiple trips to the dump, cleaning out closets, and then getting our housekeeper to clean post reno phase. Once our projects were complete, a photographer came to take pictures for the listing, which involved me moving millions of baby toys and gear from room to room so they would not be in pictures.  Because that’s real life.  So, if you want to get your home “to do list” knocked out, just list your house for sale, and you will be amazed at the amount of things you can accomplish in such a short amount of time. Lesson Learned.

2. Need to lower expectations for fun mother/son outing:

One day last week, Pax and I decided to get out of the house and run several errands, then finish off strong with our first mother/son lunch date to Chick-fil-A.  I was so excited about this date and knew it was the beginning of many more bonding experiences to come.  Unfortunately, I had high expectations that this would be the best date ever, but instead I learned so much.  Pax is attempting to transition from two naps a day to one nap.  This day I learned that if he misses his morning nap, and we attempt to have a joy filled lunch in public, he will have a meltdown.  There I was, the mother I may or may not have judged in the past, with a screaming baby in the holy Chick-fil-A.  You know, the place that is filled with politeness (“my pleasure serving you”), prayers before meals, Christian music, and well behaved children.  I also learned that he hates grilled nuggets, as evidenced by him screaming, spitting them out, then throwing them on the floor.  Another lesson learned was that he is able to drink the milk from the kids meal with a straw, but is unable to swallow the milk he sucks in his mouth, therefore soaking his shirt over and over.  I should have practiced this new skill at home.  Since the kids meal was a bust (other than the fruit cup), I had packed a veggie pouch for back up, but at this point he was soooo over our date, that he slung the pouch in anger, and it splattered all over him, me, the stroller, and the booth seat.  At this point, we ran for the door.  Several Lessons Learned.

3. Femoral Fractures are common in children with Spastic Cerebral Palsy:

A few weeks ago, Sayla began having severe pain every time she was moved or transferred.  It started during a diaper change, and I am not going to reveal who was changing her diaper, because it could have been any of us, so no one was at fault.  Her pain continued for several days, and her father took her for x-rays at the pediatrician.  We had been in contact with her Orthopedic Surgeon in Cincinnati, because we were terrified the pain was coming from her back post-spinal surgery.  The back, hip, and femur x-rays were negative, but her pain continued.  I have never in the almost nine years of Sayla’s life heard her scream out in pain like this.  I cannot even explain the sickening feeling which occurs watching your non-verbal child in so much pain.  We all felt helpless.  I took her to Cincinnati the next week since she had not improved.  They repeated x-rays but still saw no obvious fracture.  Due to her low bone density, high muscle tone/spasticity, left partial hip subluxation (out of socket approx. 30%), and due to the mechanism of injury during diapering, her surgeon seems confident it is a hairline fracture of the left femoral neck.  This is the part of the femur just below the ball/head that fits into the hip socket.  The surgeon is against casting it because it could cause many more issues due to her immobility, and he wants it to heal naturally on its own.  He gave us a prescription for pain medication, which has helped tremendously with moving her, and told us to avoid any positions that cause her pain.  One of those positions is sitting in her bath and shower chair, so we are back to bed baths for now.  Unfortunately, this can be a common occurrence with spastic cerebral palsy.  She is much better this week, and we will follow up with Cincinnati if needed.  Hard Lesson Learned.

4. Lessons of trust are wrapped in difficulties:

Out of all the lessons learned recently, this one has been the most important.  I’m pretty positive I will have to relearn it several times.  It was a lesson in my devotion book this week.  Philippians 4:6-7 “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God (I have had a lot lately), and the peace that surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” I don’t know about you, but it is pretty difficult for me when faced with a situation that brings stress and anxiety, to say “Thank you God for this hellish situation – or five – that I’m experiencing right now…all at the same time.”  But He promises us these lessons in trust that are wrapped in difficulties, will bring blessings.  The biggest blessing of all is His peace.  This gift is completely independent of circumstances.  I get asked all the time, “How do you do it?” which usually refers to me raising a medically fragile child, and I say, “I just do it.” I do it because He gives me strength and peace when I thank Him for the opportunity to be Sayla’s mommy.  Or any other obstacle that comes my way, be it fixing up my house in a time crunch, or parenting a screaming child in public when I want to stand up and yell, “whose baby is this?!”  and run away.  But that would be illegal and really bad parenting.

I hope you have found some encouragement from this post, and remember that no matter your struggle, God gives peace beyond our understanding, meaning, “How in the heck do I feel so peaceful right now in the middle of my cataclysm?” Anyone care to share a lesson learned lately?  Leave it in the comments and help me know I’m not alone in this student of life journey.

admin