Today is our baby’s due date, but we had our scheduled cesarean five days ago!  Since we knew the exact date our baby would enter this world, most of our family (including both sets of grandparents) were able to be present for the big day.  Our friends and family celebrated with a Birth Day party in the Labor and Delivery lobby, while I was in surgery, as they patiently waited for the gender reveal announcement from Patrick.  One of my brothers, who does videography and photography, was able to be present and document this special occasion for us.

Disclaimer: No one was harmed in the making of this video.  I promise my mom is okay.

I will spare you the details, but unfortunately my last two cesarean births were somewhat traumatic. My prayer during this whole pregnancy was that I would have a positive birth experience that would be calm and joyful.  One of the ways I imagined my birth to be joyful, was by finding out the gender during the surgery.  We have kept the baby’s gender a surprise this entire pregnancy, and lovingly referred to this baby as “Pepper” Parker, since it has been extremely active and caused me lots of heartburn.

I have thought the baby was a boy the entire pregnancy, and my husband has guessed girl.  As you can see in the video, we had a sign given to us right before delivery.  Our girl name did not fit the baby born to us with a head full of dark curly hair, and dark eyes.  This baby just looked like a “Pepper.”  The nickname stuck and we now have a Pepper Fawn Parker.  The delivery was perfect and everything I had hoped and prayed for.  We are so thankful to God for blessing us with this angel who is fearfully and wonderfully made, and completes our family.

 

We are now less than two weeks away from meeting our sweet baby!  I am so ready to meet him or her.  “Pepper” is already so loved and adored.  I was reminded of something this week from Isaiah 66:13: “As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you.”  I would give my life for my children, and love my children unconditionally (even the one I carry now but have not yet seen its face), and HE cares for us in the same way.  No hustling or perfection required on our part.  He loves us as we are.

 

I have never had professional maternity photos taken with my other two children, as I didn’t plan on hanging the pictures above the mantle, and I definitely don’t feel like “working it” in front of a camera with an extra 30-40 pounds hanging out.  But with this pregnancy has come a sense of nostalgia, as I know it will be my last (tubal ligation papers signed…check check), and I didn’t want to regret not having photos.  Photos that would remind me of the miracle of pregnancy, and the blessing of carrying my children who are all miracles from above.

 

I stumbled upon a styled maternity photo shoot giveaway on Instagram, by one of the most sought out photographers in my city.  She decided to graciously do this for one of her followers who commented on the post telling what they love about their pregnant body, or pregnancy in general.  I decided to comment and enter.  My comment post got real, and I confessed how scary pregnancy is for me as my first child was diagnosed with a large brain mass in utero.  I have never had a desire to document my pregnancies before, but felt the need this time to celebrate the miracle that God created pregnancy to be.  I was chosen for the photo shoot, and I am blown away by both the photographer’s generosity and her amazing skills!  She has given me the chance to appreciate my body, and has also given me lasting memories of this pregnancy to cherish.  I will forever be grateful.

 

Photos by Kelsey Malicote

When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade?  How about I rock them on an obnoxious bodysuit, throw some in a bowl for decoration, and maybe even share a few…

 

Anyone else feel like everything hits at once, or you can’t catch a break?  I’m there.  The past few weeks have brought several challenges and struggles and I feel like life is tossing lemons at me.  All while being very pregnant.  Two days after returning home from our babymoon, we noticed our basement carpet was wet.  One of the HVAC units had frozen and thawed and dumped a massive amount of water into our basement.  After the restoration team assessed the damage my husband calls me and says, “Do you want the good news, or the bad news first?”  Umm just tell me.  “Good news is you get to redecorate a whole new basement!  Bad news is, it’s way worse than we thought, and they are calling it a category three.”  I’m not super familiar with water damage and restoration categorization, like at all, but this sounds like we need to move and warn the neighbors.  Maybe notify the city?  Next lemon is my oven.  My housekeeper calls and tells me my oven is off but really hot.  That’s bizarre considering I haven’t baked in days.  We turned off the breaker so that my 500-degree oven would chill out, and called the manufacturer. After two different repair technicians from two different companies assessed the situation, we finally realized the relay was stuck on the microcomputer which was allowing the baking element to stay on…why didn’t I think of that?  And then we realize they don’t make replacement parts for my 17-year-old oven.  Awesome.  They also informed me that the two ovens they manufacture that will fit into our wall space (and match our other appliances) to replace our current oven, are out of stock with no information as to when they will become available again.  Another lemon lately is illness.  And for once it’s not Sayla, but Pax, who has been to the pediatrician for four weeks in a row now.

 

So here’s how I’m dealing.  First of all, I have to realize that all of these situations are out of my control.  There is no one to blame, and no one is at fault.  Life happens, and how I choose to react to these lemons are what I can control.  Yes, it is frustrating.  Yes, it is stressful.  Yes, it adds to my “to do list.”  But I am choosing JOY in the midst of these trials.  Joy is the assurance that a higher power is in control.  And even though hardships will happen, there is a peace in knowing that everything will be alright because it all happens for a reason.  God doesn’t promise answers or explanations, but He does promise joy. So watch me rock this lemon bodysuit with a massive baby bump because it brings me joy.  It also makes my husband sing Gucci Mane’s “Lemonade”: “I love dem Georgia-peaches, but you look more like a lemon.” I try and focus on things that are positive happenings in my life to find my joy.  Some current “happies” include baby Pepper being healthy and staying where s/he belongs for now, and I was gifted an amazing maternity photo shoot by one of the most sought out after photographers in Lexington, which I cannot wait to share.

 

The second way I’m dealing is by throwing those lemons in a bowl and decorating…or redecorating in my case.  As I have mentioned before, I am in an interior design certification program, and this new basement reno is a perfect way to apply my newly learned skills.  The foundation for décor and design is having a plan.  I think the best way to deal with unforeseen trials, is to formulate a plan of action.  This will help ease the anxiety of the unknown and bring relief with a sense of regaining control of the situation.  We can only control our actions and reactions when the lemons start raining down.

 

Lastly, I’ve decided to share some of my lemons…you want a lemon?  No? Ok, how about you? You want this lemon?  Get some help!

This is probably the hardest part for me when faced with struggles.  Asking for help and delegating tasks.  Partly because I don’t want to inconvenience anyone, and to be honest, it’s partly because I don’t want other people to think I cannot “handle” my biz.  So I have to swallow my pride and let others help.  My biggest helpmate in this crazy life is my best friend, my husband.  He is constantly asking me what he can do to help, and I would be lost without him.  Accepting help no matter how big or small is crucial.  I asked a friend for help by soliciting her advice on my tile selection for our basement bathroom, and I asked another friend for new crock pot recipes since I have no oven.  My mother in law offered to help do research on finding a double wall oven that would fit in our kitchen with the correct dimensions, and my parents are coming to visit this week and you best believe I have a list of things for my father to fix (he loves it), and my mother will cook and help disinfect the contaminated toys from illness (if you’re reading this mom, I am planning on asking you to help me with this please).

 

I am by no means an expert at this thing called life.  That is not what this post is about…nor do I want to come across as complaining.  I’m just being real.  It’s my current situation and I am hoping it brings some sort of comfort to you by revealing that you’re not alone in your trials, and maybe give you some ideas on how to cope with those lemons.  What is your current lemon?  Leave me a comment and tell me how you deal.  You never know how it could help someone else reading this!

 

 

It is going to be a long, hot, (and sober) summer…and we could not be more thrilled to announce this pregnancy!  I have shared a little in the past about our struggle with infertility and loss.  Our rainbow baby, Pax, was such a gift from God when we least expected it, and now this baby on the way is also such a surprise!!  We found out about the bump coming back during the week of my husband’s birthday in March, and on the same day, our offer was accepted on our new home.  Patrick said, “This is the best week of my life!” Haha!  As excited as we are, I have to be honest and say this has been my hardest pregnancy yet.  I have been extremely hormonal (Patrick thinks I hate him), I am exhausted, unmotivated, acne ridden, and sick with vomiting on the regular.  The misery has lessened some now that I’m in the second trimester. This is not the best timing with moving into a new home, as there are still tons of boxes needing to be unpacked, and rooms to be decorated.  It will just have to wait.  It’s a day by day, surviving not thriving status.

Everyone is convinced it is a girl, since the pregnancy is so different than with Pax.  I can’t really compare it to my pregnancy with Sayla because I was 10 years younger, and had a lot more going for me in regards to growing a fetus.  I am literally considered “advanced maternal age,” starting this month on my 35th birthday.  One perk with this new label is that insurance will cover early fetal genetic testing with blood work, and you can find out the gender.  BUT, in the spirit of surprises, we are going to leave the gender unknown until the day of birth.  I did not know the gender in my first pregnancy when Sayla was born.  Even during millions of ultrasounds with her brain tumor findings, we kept it a surprise.  It was the most wonderful experience to have that exciting news during her birth.  I want to experience that same joy and surprise with Patrick, when this little one is born.  Also, there is no reason to decorate a nursery at this point considering how long the baby will stay in our room…Pax still has yet to sleep in his own room all night.  Lord, hear our prayers.  Let the chaos begin!

Our little “Pepper Parker” as we have nicknamed this baby, is due November 13, 2018.  I have been craving all the sour candy to the point of minor citric acid burns in my mouth.  There is nothing “extreme” sour enough for me.  I need lemonade on the daily.  Is your mouth watering yet?? I was afraid I was losing weight with all the sickness and vomiting, but at my last appointment, I have gained the MAX amount my midwife wants me to gain for half the pregnancy…and I wasn’t even a third of the way through at the time of that visit.  I guess all the candy is being digested.

My babies will be approximately 22 months apart if all goes as planned.  We are so grateful for this surprise blessing, and plan to enjoy every moment of this new level of chaos in our home.  I have longed for Sayla to have siblings for a long time…to care for her and look after her when we cannot do so.  For her to teach them what compassion and kindness look like, and what really matters in this world.

I am so excited to share our amazing adventure with you, but I will end with this.  I have friends who still struggle with infertility and long for the day to become a mother.  I see you.  I pray for you.  I understand you.  I’m not going to say “It happens when you stop trying,” or “It will happen when it is time.”  I don’t know God’s plan for your life, but I know He has a GOOD plan.  He said so.  Jeremiah 29:11.

 

{Gender Reveal September 2016}

I love surprises, and my husband loathes them.  I waited until Sayla’s birth to know her gender, and I could do it again with this baby!  Whereas, Patrick would pay hundreds of dollars to find out gender at 10 weeks with genetic testing.  We decided to compromise and both be surprised at a gender reveal party at 17 weeks gestation.  My best friend Alana, offered to throw us this shindig, and it was seriously the best party anyone has ever given me.  We had the gender scan 9 days before scheduled party.  The results were made available for front desk pick-up by Alana, ONLY, and required ID verification. She guarded this secret with her life, and says it was the hardest secret she has ever had to keep, BUT was totally worth it when she saw our reaction.  We had the reveal at our home, and invited close friends and family.

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