I have heard many times “I don’t know how you do it all!” Special needs child, infant who breastfeeds, work, maintain household, organize Sayla’s healthcare…list goes on. Truth is, I don’t do it all, I have help. I didn’t always have help, but I will spare you the ugly details of my life before help existed! We do not have family that live close…not even in the same state, so finding help has not been easy. I don’t like to ask for help. Could be a pride thing, or I don’t want to bother anyone, or it could be that I’m a control freak? But I just cannot do it all on my own.
My biggest helper and teammate is my husband. I would be lost without him. Whether it’s emotional support or helping with daily tasks, he is always there. He is ready and willing to help make my life not just easier, but better. Secondly, I have an LPN that watches Sayla while I work 2-3 days a week. She has been with us for six years. Since Sayla’s dad and I share custody 50-50 week by week, she watches Sayla at both of our homes and as a result, she is with her more than either parent is. She takes care of Sayla just as well as we do, and there is no one else I trust more to watch my child! Now that Sayla weighs half as much as I do and is completely immobile, I have a hard time lifting her and transferring her around the house. I have been wanting to hire someone to help me with Sayla on the days I’m at home with her for the past few years. It wasn’t until I became pregnant and absolutely could not lift a Sayla due to pregnancy complications and restrictions, that forced me to find someone who could help. So, I have an assistant who comes two days a week when I have both kids at home. She helps with lifting Sayla, getting her dressed, changing her diaper, playing with her, mixing her formula, laundry, straightening up the house, running errands, going with me to appointments, and I seriously wish I would’ve found her sooner! Lastly, I have a housekeeper. She puts my cleaning to shame. I still do not know how she gets my shower doors spotless. I am able to keep up with straightening my home and small cleaning tasks in between her visits, but if she ever leaves me, I’ll die. This is my village, and even though it takes time planning and coordinating this help, it is so worth it, and it is the only reason I am still sane…most days. I cannot do it all alone, and have learned that is it totally fine to receive help.
