Healthcare Handler
I am a planner by nature, but while taking care of Sayla and all of her medical needs, plans are bound to change, and we have to be flexible. It’s not easy, but we don’t have a choice when there are extraneous factors affecting our plans that are out of our control. Especially right now, in the middle of a pandemic.
This was the case when Sayla’s oxygen titration sleep study was cancelled two days before her appointment date this past weekend. All I could do was express my concern about delaying the study, since it has to be done before Sayla’s spinal surgery scheduled in June! She has severe sleep apnea, and the spinal surgeon wants to know the best way to support her breathing when she awakes from anesthesia, is extubated (taking breathing tube out after surgery), and is recovering. There was a lack of communication between the sleep study physician, the pulmonologist, about the need for Sayla to have a Covid-19 test done within the 72 hours before the sleep study. This is a current requirement since they will be using different types of respiratory equipment (such as CPAP) on Sayla to see which is more effective for her apnea. Sleep studies are scheduled months in advance, but thankfully they were able to reschedule us before Sayla’s planned surgery date. Below I have listed three ways that help me cope when things don’t go as planned:
1. Stay Calm: This is a hard one for me. I tend to get upset, but I am more likely to understand how plans changed if I remain calm. I am also more likely to have the help of others to figure out the mishap or change if I am nice, and chillaxed, because it lessens defensiveness. I was not so calm with this situation at first, because I was scared cancelling this test would delay the surgery that Sayla needs so badly. After I received a phone call back, and had time to chill, the person on the other line was very willing to help.
2. Accept what it is in my control: Some things are just completely out of my control, such as the miscommunication between the doctors, which ultimately delayed Sayla’s testing. There are so many parts and pieces that influence her healthcare, it is not just me that controls the outcomes. It is in my control to advocate for my child. So, when things do not go according to plan, we all have to work together to find a solution that is best for Sayla.
3. Focus on the next step: Okay, I’m calm, I know what is and isn’t in my control, so how do we fix this? Taking action to start planning what needs to happen next, is what helps me cope the most. After several phone calls, I was able to figure out why Sayla’s test was cancelled, make plans for the required testing to be completed, and reschedule her appointment.
These are three ways that help me cope when things don’t go according to plan, big or small. Like when they forget I said no onions on my cheeseburger, or an appointment cancellation for Sayla, or when our basement flooded while we were on vacation. I for sure failed at #1 listed above. Do you have any plans that were changed unexpectedly? If so, do you have any other ideas on ways to cope? Please share!
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